Anywhoo....rather than order chicks online, I decide to ask around and it turns out Ace Hardware here carries baby chicks! Yayyyyy Chicks!
It had been snowing, so I was all decked out in my rain boots. I had on big, loose jeans, red sweatshirt and my hair up in a loose knot. Sexiness, at it's best. Well, for this "farm" girl. I swear I looked the part.
I speak to the cashier and ask when they get their baby chicks. She tells me the end of February.Then she asks me if I would like a membership to their Agriculture group. Sure, is what I tell her and she wants to know if I would like to become a member. Cool, okay. Then she waves over one of the guys. She tells him I want to order chicks and want to become a member of the agriculture group.
His eyes light up, apparently this is a big deal!
Then he puts me on the spot.
What kind of chicks are you interested in, he asks.
My mind races. I tell him I am new to the area and I'm not sure if the breeds that I like will do well here. I rattle off a half dozen chicken breeds. He is obviously impressed with my chicken knowledge and we discuss the pros and cons of each breed. Then he asks how many am I interested in.
Well, Hell.
So, I bow my head down thoughtfully and come up with a rough approximation as to what I want.
I lift my head and tell him.
All light dims from his eyes. Well, he says, we get in about 9,000 chicks all different breeds starting at the end of February. He turns, shoulders slumped and walks away.
I finish my shopping and get in my vehicle. Before I leave the parking lot, I read over the membership form. It's a good program. Then I realized, OMG! He thought I was a bona fide chicken farmer and it turns out I'm just a city chick dressing like a farmer.
Ace Hardware brings in almost ten thousand chicks and I had only wanted a dozen chickens.
You've never heard of suicidal chicken before? That's like telling me you have never seen a kamikaze squirrel either.
Kamikaze Squirrels
Anywhoo...my chickens have an enormous yard to run around in. But the grass is always greener, blah, blah, blah. You know. These suicidal chickens would sneak through a gap in the fence or fly over the fence, WITH THE MONKEYS.
Now, I bet you didn't know that monkeys love chickens. I am here to tell you that they do.
It is a very unpleasant experience for the wayward chicken.
Once I went looking for my favorite chicken, Taffy.
I found one foot and three feathers.
Nuff' said.
Today, I was on my laptop reading a few blogs. I use my computer while on my bed, where the monkeys often join me.
There was a chicken video on a blogger's post.
I clicked it.
First, happy chicken noises.
Second, a monkeys head pops up off the bed.
Third, I am surrounded by monkeys, CONVINCED THAT I AM HIDING A CHICKEN UNDER THE COVERS.
Fourthly? Fourth, monkeys commence to swarm and dig on me and around me looking for the CHICKEN THAT I HAVE SO OBVIOUSLY HIDDEN UNDER THE BED COVERS.
Now, you have to understand this all happened in less than thirty seconds. I'm laughing and trying to shove monkeys off me. I can't stop shoving the monkeys off of me lest they destroy my laptop. I CAN'T STOP THE VIDEO AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.
Fortunately, this video was very short, or I might have died.
And that's how a Chicken Video nearly killed me.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME WITH 5 MONKEYS ON THE BED!!!!
Ps. The above video is not the original that I viewed. I am too traumatized by the experience to post the original.
Pss. I wholeheartedly endorse owning chickens. If you can get
the non-suicidal breeds.
I have been extraordinarily neglectful of my children chickens.
How bad you ask? Well, I just lobbed a dozen dozen eggs over the fence. Yep, that's gross in more than one way. Think about it. HA!
Wet weather is heading our way and it was long over due that I got off my rear and clean out the coop.
Out with the straw and down with the pine shavings. It smells oh, so pleasant!
Now, my coop is not small. The dimensions are 8 x 10. Huge for the amount of chickens I currently own.
I have plastic totes filled with oyster shell, crumble, pellets, and scratch. There are heat lamps and fans and a chair for me. It's pretty sweet, if you are a chicken!
These are the chickens I currently own.
Light Brahma rooster named Khan.
Easter Egger hen named Butterscotch.
Buff Orpington rooster named Champ.
2 Plymouth Barred Rock hens.
Giant Jersey pullet.
And, the star of the show..... a little Rhode Island Red pullet that had decided to hatch out some of the eggs!!!
She's going to be a momma (hopefully)! She hasn't even laid her own eggs yet!!
So even though I am one Bad Mutha....she is amazing. I am naming her Hope.
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