Silent Sunday

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..

Ack and Grrrr!!!!

My desktop computer caught a cold and it's draggin' ass.

It only takes F O R E V E R to upload photos, the web, anything really.

It must have a fever also.

It freezes up, then works a bit before getting the chills again.

So the post that was to be written will be written on Sunday.

That's when I will make it some chicken soup and hot tea and root out the problem.

H A T E F N' H A C K E R S M A Y T H E Y R O T I N A S P E C I A L K I N D O F H E L L

R O A S T I N G O N A S P I T I N SE R T E D I N T H E I R A N U S


CHEERS!!

1.  

The Cows are the Aliens

I don't know about your place, but all kinds of weird stuff is happening here. I don't watch television so I don't know if this is a localized phenomena or countrywide.

One thing I do know, there is something wrong with the trees. At first, I though it was some sort of fungus, then I thought, caterpillar invasion. I am stumped.

Next, is acoustical music playing outside constantly. Seriously, you can't get away from it. It follows you everywhere. Not that it's bad, you just wonder, why?

But the most bizarre observation that I have made is about the neighbor's cows.
I have been watching them closely. They are Angus cattle and I have two favorites.
The off colored brown one and the one with the white face that I have named Krull.
The cows have been really loud lately. All the time. I have been thinking it may be some kind of  bovine warning system.
And what's really spooky, there are more cows. Smaller cows, almost a one to one ratio.

I was thinking that the cows were alien. But now, I think they are amoebas.

Get back to me with your thoughts, I've got to go plant some seeds.

Celebrating 11 Years of Monkey Mayhem

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It's the monkey's birthday, or was. We celebrate collectively on April 1st. And damn if I didn't forget their birthday. Crapfest!
Samson was born  three years ago March 31st. The rest two years ago approximately the same time frame. So, me being Empress of the Universe I made the executive decision that April Fool's day is perfect for celebrating my monkeys.. But I forgot.

Sue me.

 

Wordless Wednesday

What is A City But The People

 

Shopping Experiences with the Chick...Ace Hardware

Do you recall that I have a thing for chickens?

Farm Girl Feeding Chickens by Julien Dupre (1851-1910)

Anywhoo....rather than order chicks online, I decide to ask around and it turns out Ace Hardware here carries baby chicks! Yayyyyy Chicks!

It had been snowing, so I was all decked out in my rain boots. I had on big, loose jeans, red sweatshirt and my hair up in a loose knot. Sexiness, at it's best. Well, for this "farm" girl. I swear I looked the part.

I speak to the cashier and ask when they get their baby chicks. She tells me the end of February.Then she asks me if I would like a membership to their Agriculture group. Sure, is what I tell her and she wants to know if I would like to become a member. Cool, okay. Then she waves over one of the guys. She tells him I want to order chicks and want to become a member of the agriculture group.

His eyes light up, apparently this is a big deal!

Then he puts me on the spot.

What kind of chicks are you interested in, he asks.

My mind races. I tell him I am new to the area and I'm not sure if the breeds that I like will do well here. I rattle off a half dozen chicken breeds. He is obviously impressed with my chicken knowledge and we discuss the pros and cons of each breed. Then he asks how many am I interested in.

Well, Hell.
So, I bow my head down thoughtfully and come up with a rough approximation as to what I want.
I lift my head and tell him.

All light dims from his eyes. Well, he says, we get in about 9,000 chicks all different breeds starting at the end of February. He turns, shoulders slumped and walks away.

I finish my shopping and get in my vehicle. Before I leave the parking lot, I read over the membership form. It's a good program. Then I realized, OMG! He thought I was a bona fide chicken farmer and it turns out I'm just a city chick dressing like a farmer.

Ace Hardware brings in almost ten thousand chicks and I had only wanted a dozen chickens.

Sorry, Ace Hardware.  I'm an idiot.

 

Goodnight, Moon

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Ah, the going to bed ritual.

The quiet.

The peacefulness.

The monkeys.

Yeah, right.

Normal non-full moon nights are pretty cut and dry. "Babies, bedtime." And all monkeys traipse to the bedroom door in eager anticipation as to who gets to get on my bed first, then pushed off the bed by me.

But with the full moon in swing and snow on the ground, the world around us is lit up almost to the point of daylight. Which means, the monkeys can see critters a loong way off.

Case in point, all are resting  quietly. Baby Z and Sampson laying on the sofa. Snoopy and Puggies at my feet and Lily crammed in the chair with me.

I tell them it's bedtime and go around the house, turning off lights, adjusting temperature and making sure all my stuff is ready for the next day. As I open up my bedroom door, Lily darts out the sliding glass door and the rest of the nuts follow. Now, they are all causing a ruckus. Thank God, the neighbors are a quarter of a mile away.

I clap my hands, which is their signal to get their butt's to me ASAP.

Samson runs in followed by Snoopy and Puggies. But Baby Z and Lily are still pitching a fit in the backyard. By now, I'm yelling at them to get there butts in the house.

Does this work?

No.

I have transcribed the nightly ruckus for you. 

Enjoy.

Lily:

HEY HEY HEY MOON

WE ARE GOING TO BED

NOW NOW NOW

Baby Z:

YEAH MOON NOW
YEAH MOON NOW

Puggies:

YOU HEARD HER

Lily:

HEY HEY YOU COYOTE

WE ARE GOING TO BED

STAY AWAY

WE ARE GOING TO BED

Baby Z:

YEAH COYOTE STAY AWAY

Snoopy:

HEY HEY COYOTE

STAY AWAY

I WILL EAT YOU
I WILL EAT YOU

Lily:

HEY YOU NEIGHBOR DOGS

WE ARE GOING TO BED

NOW NOW NOW

YOU WATCH THE COYOTES

NOW NOW NOW

HEY YOU OTHER NEIGHBOR DOGS

WE ARE GOING TO BED 

NOW NOW NOW

ALL MONKEYS:

WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU

WE SLEEP INSIDE

HA HA HA

Idiots.
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