Let me first tell you that this "conversation" lasted forever and a day!
My thoughts at the time are highlighted in pink.
You are now connected to Diane from Amazon.com.
(I sit here waiting for acknowledgement. No salutation forthcoming, so I dive right in.)
Me:I received an order and the wrong book was sent(Took forever for "Diane" to answer me.)
Diane:Hello Xxxx, my name is Diane. I'm so sorry that you have received incorrect item. I'll be more than happy to help you today.sorry(My first clue that I am either dealing with a robot or someone from overseas, highlighted in green.)
Me:np : ) just tell me how to correct this(See here? I am relaxed as I know I am dealing with a reputable company.)
Diane:I believe you are referring to order number 103-7995xxxxxxxx, right?
Me:one moment while i check(Me being polite.)
im sorry where do i find the order number( I wait for a help locating this information.)
9102901xxxxxxxx is the tracking number(No response, so I give "Diane" this.)
i see now, yes you are correct(Still no response, I wait.)
Diane:Thanks.
Can you tell me the name of the book?
Me:the one that was shipped....Strategies in Prose(Notice that I am specific as to which book I am referring. No response.)
the one that i ordered and did not receive ...Cooking for Comfort(See? I'm still mellow even though I have been waiting more than forever.)
Diane:Thanks.
Let me go ahead request a refund for that, as one time exception please keep or donate Strategies in Prose. I would suggest that you place a new order.(I am so aggravated at the response time, I almost typed I was going to burn the book.)
Me:Which means that I will have to reorder and pay more in addition to shipping, correct?
And now that I am getting heated...just exactly what do you mean by a one time exception? As this was not a problem I created.(See now? Capitalization and proper syntax? I'm getting pissed)
Okay, let's pause the conversation for a minute. My expectation, as it was their error, was for Amazon to just ship me another book. Nothing more on my part.
And WTF is up with the "as a one time exception"? It's your F*ing error!
Okay, let's continue.
Okay, let's pause the conversation for a minute. My expectation, as it was their error, was for Amazon to just ship me another book. Nothing more on my part.
And WTF is up with the "as a one time exception"? It's your F*ing error!
Okay, let's continue.
Diane:Oh, no worries! I'll waived off the shipping fee too for the new order.(A personal pet peeve of mine is the use of colloquialisms/casual terms during a business transaction.)
Me:What did I pay originally for Cooking for Comfort?
Diane:I've requested a refund of $3.78 to your Credit Card. You'll see the refund in the next 2-3 business days.
Once processed, you'll be able to see the refund request here:
https://www.amazon.comxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That is $3.78.
Me:Lovely...I will express my displeasure with the seller on feedback. That is all.
Pause! I am thinking that I am irritated, and when I place my new order a code will show up or something. The code will be automatic and I will have my new book ASAP.
But wait...
Let's continue.
Pause! I am thinking that I am irritated, and when I place my new order a code will show up or something. The code will be automatic and I will have my new book ASAP.
But wait...
Let's continue.
Diane:Thanks for your understanding regarding this matter and rest assured that we are going to investigate about this, once you place the order will contact us back so that the next representative will be able to waive the shipping fee.
WTF? CONTACT YOU BACK? YEAH RIGHT.
WTF? CONTACT YOU BACK? YEAH RIGHT.
Me:Stay right there. I will order it now.
Diane:Sure, please make sure to select item that is fulfilled by Amazon.
Me:I am at the shipping details page.
Diane:Great, please select standard shipping.
Me:Done(No response....shocker.)
Hello?(No response now for quite awhile. I resort to using my monkeys need to use the bathroom. For reals!)
I have dogs that are needing to go outside. Can you concentrate on me.
Diane:Great.(I'm still waiting, then she finally responds to my "concentrate on me".)
Of course.
I am not seeing an order place here yet.( Did I miss something? Did she tell me to complete the order? I'm still waiting for a code or instructions on what to do here.)
Me:103-515xxxxxxxxxx(I hurriedly completed my order, because Lord knows, I don't want to keep her waiting.)
Diane:Perfect!
The shipping speed has been waived off.(I have no clue what this means and I am ready to slam down the phone. You know, just closing out the chat box gives me no feelings of satisfaction.)
You ca check your order to confirm it.
Me:Does this complete our transaction?
Pause... FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! CAN I GET A TIMELY RESPONSE?!
Unpause.
Pause... FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! CAN I GET A TIMELY RESPONSE?!
Unpause.
OMG YES, I REALLY DID TYPE THAT!
Diane:Yes.
Me:ok
Diane:Would there be anything else that I may help you with today?SERIOUSLY?!!!!!!!!
Me:NO
YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS MOST IN THIS WORLD?
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A FRIENDLY, HELPFUL AMERICAN VOICE.
*sigh*
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