Gun Control & 12 day of Christmas - Relient K

Hey, get this.

I don't own a television.

I haven't owned one in more than a decade.

I am not bombarded by advertising for stuff I don't NEED.

I have no clue what the latest fashions are.

I wouldn't know a "celebrity" if one came up and pinched me on the nose.

Tho' that would be a problem for them.

I also am not bombarded by "news".

And the best part of not watching television, other than the hours that are mine.

Is that I am not being told what to think, 

how to think, 

how to talk, 

how to walk.

Now, here's a few personal little stories of guns in my life.

When I was two or so, my paternal grandfather was murdered by his neighbor.

He was shot in the heart at close range.

He could have been just as easily been stabbed in the heart with the same outcome.

Ironically, my grandfather was a police officer.

When I was ten or so, I told my NRA card carrying maternal grandfather that the NRA was bad.

He just laughed. He also asked me why I thought that. 

My ten year old self-assured self, stated clearly, "Guns kill people."

He laughed and did not correct me.

I told him I would never be a member of the NRA.

(Did I mention, I went to public school?)

When I was 15 my best friend was raped and murdered.

No gun was involved.

Strangulation.

On my first date EVER, my "date" (chosen by my mother)

attempted to rape me by using a screwdriver as a weapon.

He drove me back home damn quick with a bloody nose.

In my junior year, 

a classmate committed suicide.

Yes, a gun was used.

His previous attempts were with pills.

He was determined.

In my senior year, 

I was approached by a known serial killer.

Guns were not his weapon of choice.

He killed more women than I have fingers and possibly toes.

In my late twenties,

I was approached and invited to dinner by another known murderer.

I declined.

His choice of weapon? A knife.

Before you ask, my "date" a few years later was incarcerated for raping a minor.

My senior year serial killer was himself murdered in prison.

And last I heard of OJ, he's in prison.

And there I will stop with the personal stuff.

This is long overdue.

Grandpa C.,

 I'm getting my NRA membership and a gun or two.

And you can thank Obama.

I am now petitioning to my congressman to ban the following:

Screwdrivers

Volcanoes

Tsunamis

Evil

Hurricanes

Knives

Water

Bed Pillows

Rope

Pantyhose

Earthquakes

Alcohol

Cancer

Rental trucks

Cars

Meth

Rabies

&

Bad Russian porn

Anywhooooo.....

So at the age of ten, "Guns kill people."

And not too many years after that conversation, I got my facts straight.

So, I am saying,

 "Get out of your childish fantasies, Get your facts, and Get a gun."

And 

SCREW ALL YOU POLITICALLY CORRECT PEOPLE.

I'M

KEEPING

CHRISTMAS!!!

Ps. I have no clue if Russian porn is good or bad. Let me know, will ya?
Pss. Leave your television out by the trash, it's filling your head with crap you really don't believe.