Mermaid Sighted in Colorado

To my limited knowledge (I didn't Google to confirm) there has never been another mermaid sighting in Colorado. I don't  even know it there is a large enough body of water in Colorado to support a healthy population of mermaids.

The sighting occurred on a dark and stormy night. Of course, isn't that always the way?

Anywhoo, I was driving on the highway being cautious of my speed as it was snowing and the roads were slick. I was in the right lane when I noticed flashing red lights of a fellow motorist on the shoulder of the road. 

I must move to the left, is what I thought. Checking my rear view mirror, I see another motorist speeding up my rear. Then the 18 wheeler ahead of me applies his brakes. Can you feel the scenario? Heart pumping just a bit faster?
As I make my move to the left lane.
There she was.

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Just laying in the highway.
She didn't look too healthy.
Why would she?
She's out in the middle of a highway where it is freezing and snowing!

She looked more like this but laying down.

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She was laying partially across two lanes of this darkened highway.

So now I have to avoid this supernatural obstacle .

WTH?!!

Fortunately, I avoid all these obstacles and as I pass the mermaid (and you know I was totally going to go back and rescue her) my brain finally makes the giant leap to reality to reveal that my stranded mermaid was in fact,

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Ummm, yes, a roll of carpet.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

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Ps..No drugs or alcohol were being used at the time of the sighting or the writing of this post.
Pss. It's always an adventure in this little noggin of mine.

5 Monkeys and a Mop

If any of you recall, the monkeys disdain any type of housework. For those of you that don't remember, click here.

Anyhooo, mopping is a huge challenge around here. 

Imagine,

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 five dogs monkeys, 

Seriously white tile

MUD

and acres of snow melt mud.

The combination is enough to make a grown woman cry!

Next, imagine...a sink full of hot soapy water, a roller mop, and monkeys locked away from interfering with mopping session.

Invariably, five mopping strokes into the mopping session, some evil will befall one of the monkeys or they will escape from their monkey pen and said mopping session is over.  This makes for a rather horrible white floor.

I had used a Swiffer but it just didn't cut the mustard. So to speak.

Swiffer

 

Now, recently I bought a Rubbermaid Reveal mop. 

Most wonderful invention on the planet.

This is not paid endorsement, but if you own five monkeys it is the most wonderful invention on the planet.

This little puppy is FANTASTIC. I fill it with water and my cleaner of choice, squeeze the trigger and OMG my floors are white again! The trick here is that it uses so little liquid, that the floor is almost completely dry before the next squeeze or the next monkey mud print.

I can mop around the monkey mayhem!!

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I'm late, I'm late....

According to a couple different sources my last frost date is between May 5-13. Which means, I just ran to my sink and watered up my little Jiffy pots and soaking seeds as you read this.

Today I will be Jiffy potting the following seeds.

Burpee

Spearmint- Menta Spicata
Parsley- Extra Curled Dwarf
Sweet Basil- Ocimum basilicum
Oregano- Origanum vulgare hirtum
Cilantro-Coriandrum sativum

Livingston Seed Co.

Pea- Early Frosty **Heirloom**

Burpee

Sweet Pepper- Kaleidoscope Mix

Eggplant- Garden Blend

Now according to some sources, I can directly sow the following:

Livingston Seed Co.

Radish-Watermelon

Spinach- American **Heirloom**

The Page Seed Company

Radish Early Scarlet Globe-Raphanus sativus

Ferry/Morse
Swiss Chard- Bright Lights

Burpee

Turnip- Purple-Top White Globe
Chives-Common Allium schoenoprasum
Spinach-Space Hybrid
Spinach-Early Prolific Hybrid

However, Saturday looks like a snow day. Maybe, I can throw those little buggers in the ground on Sunday.

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After reading yet ANOTHER source, I will be waiting a couple more weeks.

*sigh*

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Coming Out of the Closet

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I'm originally from the land of heat, humidity and lizards. South Florida for the uninitiated.
With a brief layover in Hell, I am now in Heaven.

For those who have never been to Colorado, it is not all snow and mountains. 

Shocker! I know!

On my side of the range it is a semi-arid environment. That actually means NO HUMIDITY!

My skin was suffering, my nasal passages dry and OMG my lungs!! So when I felt the familiar sensation of Pleurisy creeping up on me, I knew it was time to take action.

I purchased a humidifier! Yayy, smart me!

Problem was, the rooms are too large or too open to increase the humidity to an acceptable level.

 I really need to build an indoor waterfall like this. 

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But due to limited funds, I had to improvise.

So, I moved my clever self into one of the smaller walk in closets and there I slept each night  for a couple weeks. It worked like a charm. I could breathe again like a normal human. Which by the way, is an enormous plus!

One day, while chatting with my son, I tell him of my sleeping arrangement.

He deadpans, "So, Mom. What you are telling me, is that you come out of the closet every day."

"Yes, Son. I come out every day." "I'm straight, don't hate."

To Vegetarianism or not to Vegetarianism?

That is the question.

Okay, not really.

However, I have just lost my mind. I have spring fever and in the throes of springliness ecstasty, I have purchased seeds. 

Oh, and just like you with your little unspeakable shoe buying fetish. I believe I have bought up enough seed to feed a small African nation. 
Just to give you a small glimpse of my seed purchases...here goes....

Flowers
Mammoth Russian Sunflowers
Black eyed Susans

Tomatoes
Coustralee
Brandywine Pink
Golden Sunburst
Black Krim
Green Sausage 
Djena Lee's Golden Girl
Amish Paste
Roma

Sweet Peppers
California Wonder
Chocolate
Emerald Giant
Horizon
Lilac Bell
Midnight Dreams
Purple Beauty
Sunbright
White Bell

Eggplant
Snowy Hybrid
Applegreen
Millionaire Hybrid
Rosa Bianca
Black Beauty

Spearmint

Hot Peppers
Hot Lemon
Hungarian Wax
Greek Pepperoncini
Jalapeno Early
Yellow Cayenne Hybrid

Watermelon
Moon and Stars
Sugar Baby

Pumpkin

Small Sweet Sugar Pie
Connecticut Field

Swiss chard Fordhook Giant

Black Beauty Zucchini

Beans
Dragon Tongue
Provider Bush 
Cherokee Wax

Okra

Early Frosty Pea

Corn
Golden Cross Bantam Hybrid
Peaches and Cream

Lemon Cucumber

So, you see...vegetarianism is not going to be an option this summer. More like a commandment from the garden.

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Tribulus terrestris or the Tribulation of Terrors

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It's been a while since my daily postings and I am eager to get started back up. My fingers are rusty and my mind all a jumble. 

Where to start? Where to start?!

Ack!! So much has happened!

Shall we start from the beginning? Seems logical, but I will let the mind go were it wants. 
Enjoy the ride!

First, I made it to Colorado safely and all the monkey intact. Yayy us!

Now, let me just say that Colorado is B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!!!

The foothills are beautiful and the mountains are majestic. 

I currently reside on the Front Range, a little north of Denver. I sit on a little 5 acre piece of land that is surrounded by fields of nothingness, occasionally covered by snow.

The monkeys love it!
I   love it!

So far, we have only encountered one miserable little item that mars this truly incredible landscape.

Its beyond evil.

It's sneaky.

It's is incredibly painful to both the monkeys and I.

Imagine...(queue dreamy music here) You are walking across your brand new carpet when a sharp stabbing pain rips through the bottom of your bare foot. Shooting a dagger of shock and awe up your leg to the very topmost of your head.

Imagine, giving birth to a watermelon of lava while having to endure watching an entire season of Jerry Springer

Yes, I'm talking about the dreaded goat's head weed.

This little bastard of sharpness. grows in the surrounding fields where the monkeys were able to roam. Poor monkeys would get one of these thorny monsters in their paw and bring them into the house were there would worry them out and leave them thoughtfully hidden amongst the carpet fibers. Where I, blissfully unaware, would trod on it and...insert expletive here.

So even though I have found heaven, a bit o'hell has found us.





ps. To check out Wikipedia's info about the Devil's eyelash, click here.
pss. Blogger doesn't recognize the word...amongst.



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OH WOW!!!

Firstly, I made it!!!
Secondly, I love it here!
Thirdly, I'm cleaning the house right now and the dude just finished installing my internet.
Fourthly, as soon as the house is clean, I will start the postings.

Yayyyyyyy me!!!!

Ps. I will respond to the comments as well!

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