The Breakfast Club

"They just ignore me." the basketcase

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Every kid entering high school should have to watch this movie. And each year until they graduate.

Lessons learned in this movie.

Home life sucks.
School sucks.
Parents suck.
Teachers suck.
Friends suck.

But hey, high school doesn't last forever.

Things I have learned in life.

People lie.
Television lies.
Politicians lie.

Oh, and dreams change.

I originally wanted to become a psychiatrist. But I felt it was not an exact science. I did not want the responsibility of someone's mental health on maybes. I left that dream behind.

Then I wanted to work for a jewelry company. I did so very successfully for many years.
Then my Dad died.

I changed my priorities.

I became a mortgage broker. The money was great. But, I saw the irresponsibility of the industry and could not in good conscience continue.

I became a professional animal trapper. Yes, you read that right.

Not, to brag. But, once at band camp, I caught five of these in one day!

Then more shit happened and back to retail. Then some more shit. And I moved to another state.

Even more shit and I moved again.

Now, I am back into pest control.

And you were expecting a really gross pic!

And well, I have been fed up with this for awhile.

I had to really sit down with myself and think hard as to what I wanted.

I want land, a house, a damn good fence and my monkeys and some chickens and I am thinking some goats. Even though their eyes freak me out a bit.

Seriously, it creeps me out!

I want to be closer to my son in New York.

Now, I have created something that will make those dreams come true. I just need to get it to production.

So, what I am saying is, twenty some years after high school, I may not yet have life figured out, but I finally know what I want, and how to get it.

 
Ps. Here's the gross pic you were expecting.

And there you have it!

Well, I'll Be!!!

Things that I have learned about foxes since moving here.

The poor things live no more than five years in the wild. Awww...
So, really don't want to harass them. But, they are driving my monkeys nuts.(There's a joke in there somewhere.) And in turn, driving me nuts.

So, I decided to make them move on.
I decided to purchase a slingshot and some marbles.
In fact, I placed them in my Amazon shopping cart on Wednesday night.

Are these incredible or what!!!

Now, today being Thursday of last week....
All the pieces fell together.

Red foxes live on the outskirts of coyote territory. Generally, speaking the two do not have much interaction. Coyotes have no qualms killing a fox. So, a smart wily fox will stay far away from their neighbors.

The reason I know this is that I witnessed something rather strange last Sunday and had to research what I had  seen.

I saw a fox chasing a coyote across the field. WHAT?! WHAT?!
They weren't at a full out run. The coyote would run a few paces, then stop. The fox would chase a few paces, then stop. This went on across two fields.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Google to the rescue. Not.
I could not find anything on the web about  this curious behavior. Huh. Interesting.

Last Monday, I realized that the foxes are denning less than 100 feet from my house. That explains why he just lays in the field right there. I saw her come out.
This is why the fox was chasing the coyote!!

Last Tuesday, I drove over to where they are denning but can't see the opening that I know is there. No, I did not get out. I am not stupid, as a general rule.

Last Wednesday, Amazon shopping cart.

Last Thursday, I watched him bring his meal back to the den, where she came out to eat.

Revelation struck!

Okay, let's do the math.

One boy fox plus one girl fox equals....

HOLY CRAP!!! 

I'M GONNA BE A GRAMMA!!!!

Hmmm..... a foxy gramma, at that!

via

Now, I'm on kit watch! Stay tuned!

 

Silent Sunday 3.23.14

buy this, here

 

My Noisy Neighbors

I absolutely LOVE  where I live.

But there are a couple drawbacks.

For example, SNOW!

Actually, snow is not the problem at all. It is my driveway and three miles of unplowed roads until I get to the highway. When I KNOW, that it is going to snow,(it's freakin' Colorado, snow today gone tomorrow!) I park my vehicles at the end of the driveway. Then in the morning, I traipse a full third of a mile to my vehicles.

Ahhhh, morning, the dawn's early light. Well, no. When I leave in the morning it is often 4:30am. And I don't know about your neck of the woods but here it is dark, dark, DARK.
I mean like up a gorilla's nostril dark.
Like, being wrapped in black silk sheets and tossed into a car trunk, dark.
Like, closing your eyes in a closet in the basement of Hogwart's.
That's gotta be pretty dark, right?

Anywhoo....

Almost every night, at 10 pm. I hear this....go to mark 30 seconds.

Now when I hear them, I know where they are and how far the distance.
One mile at the river, just to the east of me.
Okay, fine and dandy.

Except....
last week they were in the back fields and CLOSE.


Makes for a looooong walk in the dark.


 

The Most Relaxed Fish on the Planet

I love fish tanks. I find them calming and entertaining.
Little fishies swimming back an forth. The sound of the bubbles breaking the surface.

Did I mention that I want one?

No little bitty tank. I want 30 gallons plus!

Georgia Aquarium- Largest in the World- 6.3 million gallons!

But here's the problem.

Fish don't remind me to feed them.

My monkeys have stomachs that are bottomless and they remind me, let's just say constantly.
But, I digress.

Today, meaning Tuesday. I was visiting an assisted living facility and guess what?
Yep! They have a fishtank. Fifty maybe, sixty gallons.
But I don't really recall what type of fish there were and this is why.

There is a floater.
There he is just bobbing away at the top.

I think to myself. "Huh, I don't think people want to be reminded of death in a place like this." So I tell the receptionist that there is a dead fish in the tank. Problem solved, I guess.

So, when I am leaving I see Mister Floaty giving me the ol' white eye. And again I tell the receptionist.

BECAUSE I AM FREAKIN' ANAL!

OKAY!

WHATEVER!

Anywhoo....

She says they have a fish tank service and she will call them, so that they can fish Mister Floaty out.
But, first she gets up and goes to look at the tank.

She's looking at the tank and I can tell she can't see Mister Floaty. Did I mention that Mister Floaty is more than four inches?

She points to the bottom of the tank and says is that the dead one?

 "giant algae sucker", Pterygoplichthys pardalis

And I say....

"Umm, no. The dead one is the floating one."

She says...

"Are you sure?"

You know, she may have a point. I am not a fish doctor.
Though, I bet I could play one one tv.

Spring, Sprang, Sprung!

First of all, the weatherman can bite my lily white butt!
Secondly, so can the Weather Channel.
But, not to worry. I will still check your site daily, as I am a masochist.

SPRING IS HEREEEE!!!

via

The birdies are returning! I hear them singing!

The fields are greening up!

They are burning the ditches for the spring water!

I returned home on Sunday from a quick run to the store. I pulled in my drive and park next to a tree. I don't know what kind of tree. It is currently naked but!!!
The silver grey catkins are back!

You totally though I typed naked butt!!!!

So what did I do? Did I caress it with my fingers?

Nope, nope, nope!

I brushed my lips against it!!!

Aww, it was like kissing a baby kitty cat!

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Dear Crazy People,

That refers at least in this particular instance, to you, Dear Reader.


So, Dear Reader, or all twelve of you collectively, Dear Readers.

I am perfectly fine.

Not fineee,as in what a fineee ass. Because, honestly my ass is more like lukewarm cottage cheese.
I really gotta work on that!
Fine as in normal health.

Now there is a reason I know this.
Remember when I lost my mind and created a posting on the personals on Craig's list?

That was just around Christmas time.

Well, I was pretty psyched up for dating. mostly

Anywhoo....

New Year's Eve....

It just so happened, in the course of my job, my finger came in contact with a used needle.
And it drew blood.

I panicked for all of maybe half a second. Seriously.

Logically there is no reason to worry.

But now, I have to go in for regular blood tests. And have to continue for the next six months.

The company panicked, local management panicked, wives of the guys that I work with were telling them to be nice and oh, how scared they were for me.

DAMMIT!! PEOPLE GET YOUR FACTS BEFORE YOU FREAK THE HELL OUT!!!
And that's pretty much how I said it.

But with my son, it showed him that I am no longer the superwoman he grew up with. That I do have an expiration date.

Who knows when, but as I have said before....BS happens.

But, let me just let you in on a little secret.

I won't go quietly 

and I'm taking as many 
of you

 as I can 
with me!!!

 

Ps. I love that you care! And I love that you read my little blog!