And today I bring you another
Shopping Experiences with the Chick at....
The Grocery Store.
|Not what I was making but here's this recipe.|
Two of the items on my list were shrimp and bagels. Seemingly innocuous items but alas, where I currently reside they are considered foreign foods.
After my little
I located Smeagol's brother, we shall call him Fred. Fred is a gangly young man that is shaving challenged and has a really nasty case of the bedhead. He is also plugged into an Ipod or something.
I approach cautiously, as I do not want to startle this obviously "on the straight track to management" youth.
"Excuse me? May I ask you two questions?" (Really, I am this polite.)
Fred unplugs himself and says "What?"
"Excuse me? May I ask you two questions?" (Seriously, I really am this polite.)
"Where would I find frozen shrimp?"
At this point, and I'm not sure how it happened....I grew another head. I didn't need to see it for myself, the look on Fred's face told me it had just happened.
"Frozen shrimp?" he asked. Obviously stricken in terror of my grotesque second head.
"Yes, frozen shrimp." My first head answered.
Fred waves down the aisle I had just scoured for frozen shrimp. I told him that it wasn't there and he directs me and my second head to the "fresh seafood" counter.
Okay, one down, one to go!
"Okay, can you tell me where the bagels are?" (Note, that I DID NOT give a specific brand.)
Fred says, "Do you want Lender's bagels?"
(I am aware that in many grocery stores, bagels may be found in a variety of locations. But if I am pointed in the right direction, I can usually ferret out what I like.)
"Um, okay, sure."
Fred with a straight face answers, "We don't carry those. They have been discontinued."
I am nonplussed.
Now why would this unassuming man ask me to step on the rug and whip it out from under me like that?
"Okay, do you have any other bagels?"
"Sure, on aisle 10."
Now before you get too excited that I will have finally found the bagels, you my dears would be quite mistaken. For in aisle 10 resides the MISO. Aisle ten is the International aisle. Bagels = New York not International. Well, technically they are Polish. I seriously doubt this grocery chain knows this.
My next stop is the "fresh seafood" bar(?). There is a man frying bacon behind the counter. I kid you not. He's a big man and he is cooking bacon, this is a man I do not want to disturb.
Sooo, I ask the lady for a pound of the "fresh" unfrozen, cooked, peeled" shrimp and you know I had to ask......"Where are the bagels?"
Sweet lady that she is answered, "Somewhere up front, I think."