Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I Am Perplexed

No, I am not a man.

But, I do work in a predominately male job.

I have to wear a uniform.

I wear make up, pretty nail polish currently chipped all to hell, and my long, flowing blonde locks in a bun.
I still have to dress like a man. Sucks.

My pants are men's pants, my shirts are men's shirts and my boot are men's boots. Because I have monstrous size feet.

I waited two weeks for the uniform people to come out and measure me. I ended up having to go to them, but they forgot I was coming and no one was there to measure me.

The guy that delivers the uniforms "measured" me, sorta. "Here." he says and proceeds to just start holding shirts up to me.

My shirts are way to big. I look fat.
My pants are too short. I am waiting for the spring floods.
My shoes are my own. I really need to get a new pair.

Oh, and the jacket? It fits me and at least one of the monkeys.


Sounds totally sexy, I KNOW!

So, Saturday I pull into one of my regular customers to purchase a beverage of my choice.
Not Diet Anything, thank you very much!

I walk up, smile and greet him, all decked out in my company LOGOED, hideous assed uniform and he says......

"Are you off today?"
I am Perplexed!


  1. Maybe it was the time of day that led him to think that rather than your sexy uniform? Maybe?

    1. Who knows? But the things people say just kill me! Ha!

  2. Replies
    1. I need to convert a deck of cards that say just that!
      I would be out in three days! Ha!