Thursday, June 13, 2013

Colorado On Fire

7*89--Aerial photos of the Black Forest Fire outside Colorado Springs, Colorado. (Photo by John Wark / Special to the Denver Post)


Okay, first, let me just say.... I DIDN'T DO IT!
Now that we have that out of the way, let's move on.

WOW!! The smoke around Denver is just, well, smokey! I can't even see the mountains!

Aside from it sucking from a homeowners point of view, where they just lost their house, belongings and sometimes their pets, it sucks for me too. Only because I am selfish and thoughtless to those suffering major losses. Because, why? You ask?

Because, without the mountains in my sights, I have no clue which direction I am heading. Oh, but use your GPS, you say. Well, phooey to that idea.

My GPS hates me and I swear, plots my demise constantly.
I want shortest route.
GPS heads me off a cliff.
I'm running behind to an appointment.
GPS takes me three miles out of my way.
I want to avoid a roadblock.
GPS sends me to a dead end.

Once, and I swear this is true. GPS asked me, "Are you in a building?"

NO YOU STUPID GPS!!! I'M RIGHT WHERE YOU DIRECTED ME!!!

GPS is a bitch!

On the plus side of the day, I have discovered the cure for hay fever and any nasal allergies.

But, first, I need a human guinea pig. Any volunteers?

I noticed that with the suggestion from Annie*s Granny, I did not smell any smoke. Because, if you recall, I had an issue with
I Love Baby Gays!
and it was suggested that I use Vaseline to coat the interior of my nostril. Using, of course, Baby Gays!

I don't smell any smoke!!! Awesome!!!

Which led me to think, if you have allergies and you coat the interior of your nose, using a Baby Gay with Vaseline, the pollen and such would get stuck and no allergy attack for you!

I think I'm pretty clever. Let me know how it works out!


Ps. I now have my son, calling them Baby Gays! I'm soooo trendy!


 

4 comments:

  1. If you can't smell smoke, how will you know when the monkeys leave dinner on the stove too long? They're so easily distracted I fear for your safety.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the exact reason why the monkeys are only allowed to use the toaster!

      Delete
  2. The photo is disturbingly beautiful (the SMOKE photo, not the BOOGER banner!). Happy to hear the Vaseline is working for ya!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have friends in Black Forest...guess I better see if they're alright. My sense of smell is extraordinary, vaseline is worth a try. Gotta be better than a clothespin

    ReplyDelete

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