Yet Again, I Narrowly Escape Death at the....

Yes, it's true. I escaped another attempt on my life yet again!

All day long they plot. All day long they conspire.

Why do they want to do me in?

I feed them.
I pet them.
I groom them.
I play with them.
I give them "cookies".
I bathe them.
I sometimes dress them in my T-shirts.

I have proof of their nefarious plan.
See nefarious plan below. (Note the paw print.)

Exhibit A

Now I don't know if you can see what the monkeys were planning. But, here's what happened.

I went outside with the monkeys. Lily crept up and stood behind me. Sampson acted as the distraction, by asking for a treat. Then Snoopy unexpectedly jumped up and planted both paws on my chest. Which made me totter backwards, bumping into Lily. Where I almost fell backwards and split my head open on the concrete floor.

I thought it was all happenstance. Until I found more incriminating evidence.

Exhibit B