Monday, May 13, 2013

5 Monkeys and Mother's Day

Before I tell you what the monkeys got me for Mother's Day. I will first tell you of how I ended up with 5 monkeys.

It was 2 am on some hot night and I was on the phone with family overseas.

Samson, my original monkey, was sleeping on the floor, as monkeys are not allowed to sleep in the bed with me. The air conditioner is on and I'm chatting away on the phone.

I hear a whimper and I look down at Samson, thinking he is making noises in his sleep. He looks fine. I continue to talk on the phone.

I again hear a whimper and I realize that it is not Samson, the whimper came from outside my window. I jump up and look out the window. I swear I just saw a possum run under the window.


Crap, I think to myself, possums don't whimper but a puppy will. I tell the family member, I gotta go! There is a puppy in my yard!

I go outside and I don't see one puppy but TWO! Then I look out past the hole in the fence and see not one more puppy, but TWO MORE! Holy Crapfest, FOUR PUPPIES!!!

Now this will give you some idea of the condition these poor babies were in.

The past couple of days the temperatures were soaring past the 100 degree mark!
They were skeletal, with big bellies full of worms.
They were so tiny that I could carry all four of them in both hands.
Truly pathetic little creatures.

I first gave them some water, then drove over to Walmart 15 miles away. Because, they need puppy food and worm medication. Fifteen miles later, I discover that this Walmart is not open 24/7.
Who knew?

Flash forward a bit.

I tried to give them away. I went to Petsmart, Walmart and Petco. I set up "shop" in the parking lots.

People wanted to know what kind of pups they were. Hell if I know! Four legs, a tail and unconditional love! What more do you want from a dog?!

I looked up all the shelters. This was not a good thing for dogs. In Hell, where I lived Craigslist was full of unwanted dogs. People in Hell throw dogs on the sides of the road and let them fend for themselves or shoot them.

So long story short, my 5 monkeys have a forever home with me.

Okay, so with a few bucks, I sent the monkeys to Walmart. Like Walmart would notice. Pfft...have you seen what shops at Walmart?'s what they bought me.

Yes, an owl scent warmer night light. Mine plugs into the wall and has a lid on the top. Where most lids belong. Good choice from the monkeys!


Good choice by the monkeys! I needed these for my other scent warmer. These monkeys are very thoughtful!


Another clever gift from the monkeys! I needed one of these to put my tea concentrate in. Who knew monkeys watch me so closely in the kitchen!


Okay, this one had me stumped. Are the monkeys tell me to get off the couch and into the game or what?! Do the monkeys think I am fat? WTH? I'm being judged by monkeys? Ack!! To hell with that! So I threw the stupid basketball out in their yard. Where Snoopy brought it back into the house no more than 2 minutes later looking like this:

I'm really not sure how to interpret this. favorite son picked me up a new laptop. That's 'cause he's got bigger pockets than the monkeys.



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